Sometimes people ask money-related questions that make me feel uncomfortable.
Since Mike and I recently got engaged and bought a house, such questions have come up on several occasions from different people.
Questions like:
“How much did you pay for your house?”
“How much was your down payment when you bought your house?”
“How many carats is your ring?”
“How much did Mike spend on your engagement ring?”
These irk me!
It’s nosy, not to mention rude.
Why do people feel the need to know specific financial details of others? And they ask so blatantly, often prefacing the question with “If you don’t mind me asking…”.
I want to answer, In fact I do mind, what’s it to you?
The answers to these materialistic questions should NOT have any bearing on anyone’s life but ours. Does it make someone’s life better knowing how much our mortgage loan is, or how much Mike spent on the ring? If the intent is to inquire about the home-buying or diamond-shopping process, then questions like “What were the requirements to get a home loan?” or “Can you recommend a jeweler you trust?” may be more fitting. Otherwise, “Congratulations!” really is sufficient, thank you.
Unless they’re planning to move to the same block in the same neighborhood, they should be doing their ‘market research’ elsewhere. Even then, realtors can provide the comp prices. Don’t ask me. But wait, what am I talking about? These nosies aren’t moving into our neighborhood. Thank goodness for that. They ask because they’re NOSY!
These questions are materialistic, superficial and irrelevant to any conversation. I feel like my worth or Mike’s is being assessed. Any answer gives the person the power to judge. Anything I say could lead to thoughts like “Wow, such big spenders!” or “Wow, they’re cheap”, depending on how the nosies subjectively perceive the answer.
I don’t want to be judged. However, not giving an answer or dodging the question somehow makes ME the rude one.
Asking these questions is inappropriate. These questions should NOT be asked unless the inclination to find out serves a good purpose and makes someone’s life better somehow.
The price of my house, or the ring on my finger, or the shirt on my back is nobody’s business. Especially not the nosies’.
